xocheerbearxo

I love the beginning of each month because tons of magazines come out. So far I've bought the new Cosmo, Nylon, Jane, and Seventeen. I planning on buying the new Glamour, ELLE, Teen Vogue, and maybe Vogue. I'm such a magazine whore. I should probably get subscriptions, but I'm pretty sure they're over rated. Anyway, I'm in the new Seventeen (July 2007). It's not anything super rad, but its sorta cool. I guess it's big for a Midwest girl like me...ha. I'm quoted about the whole Virginia Tech thing. It seems I'm the only one who isn't scared someone is gonna shoot up my college. Here's a scan:

In other news...my pool is open now, I'm way stoked. I might have to take pictures by the pool. Actually probably not because some people tend to comment inappropriately on my pictures. I gotta keep it PG. That's it for now, more later.

A) My family is crazy, and we need our own reality show! We'd be like The Osbornes except not druggies and without accents, but we probably swear ten times more. I wish I had a video camera because I'm sure we'd become a viral video or something.

B) Today was supposed to be photo shoot day with my sis. We needed a better MySpace picture for our new Pink Rock Candy Myspace page. We lost power all day and the light sucked when we got it back. Plus my only tripod broke so photoshoot day was shot, but we got one good picture together. Too bad its supposed to rain for the rest of the week. 

C) We have a ton of bamboo in our backyard. Its like a bamboo forest, and I took a couple really cool pictures in it. Other than the pool, the bamboo is my fave part about the house. 

D) I'm watching SURS right now nd The Used are making cookies. I fear for whoever ends up eating them.

I honestly feel like my head is spinning. I have no idea what is going on in my life, but somehow everything has been working out. I was interning with this super cute handbag company 31 Corn Lane (think Cartel's "Honestly" video or polka dot toe from Clandestine Industries), but they could only have me as and intern for 6 weeks because of legal reasons or something. It's totally cool though because any connections are good connections in the fashion industry. Plus they are super nice and amazing people who make awesome friends. My sis and I also "modeled" for them which was really fun. I put modeled in quotes because we totally suck at modeling, but who knows maybe I'll become a model...ha. I wish I had something completely deep and profound to say, but I can't be deep and profound when I try, that stuff just happens without me trying. This has been the first time I have ever just let things happen and I like it. I also am applying as an intern for coutorture over the summer. I'm not sure if I can be an intern when I'm one of their bloggers...hmmm.

Pink Rock Candy (my fashion blog) has been keeping me sane while I bull shit through my last chem class (hopefully ever). I was quoted on news.com and sort of started tons of buzz about Columbus Fashion Week in the "blogging community". I'm trying not to use the word blog because a. wintz doesn't like it. A. Wintz as in Anna Wintour the super scarry, run the other way if you ever see her, editor of Vogue whom I adore. I'm not really sure what other word to use instead of blog so I'm stuck for now. 

The last great thing is Gym Class Heroes is coming to my school (Northeastern University) in April 14th. It's like them and Naz, Lupe Fiasco, and some other fools. I'm only excited for Gym Class and Lupe Fiasco, but the tickets are only $5 for me so I'll just be in the bathroom during the other people. Maybe I'll just lurk the guys from GCH...nah, that'd be freaky. I really have no new news, but if something intersting happens I'll be sure to write...maybe.

This really has nothing to do with anything, but it made me laugh hysterically.

I'm extremely excited for their new album Infinity on High, February 6th. No, I'm not getting paid to write that, though if anyone feels the necessity to give me some monetary donation for that, I will gladly accept it. Anyway, back to my train of thought. In their two new songs they use two different euphemisms for sex that I adore. In "Carpal Tunnel of Love", Pete says/screams, "We're the has-been of husbands, shapening our knives on young wives" I only assume this has a double maybe even triple entendre, one way of looking at it can be sexual. I like that one the best. In "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race," Patrick sings "We're crashing not like hips, not cars, more like p-p-p-parties." This is my absolute favorite because now instead of saying knocking boots, i can say crashing hips, which is much more violent and presumably more painful. Going along with the theme of sexual euphemisms, my brother was telling me how the kids in his school like to call vaginas chads. Like pregnant chads, hanging chads, etc. We'll I figure I would be witty and start saying that I'm going to "cast my vote" instead of have sex...I know pretty creative. So this has pretty much been a journal full of sex.  Always interesting...

The moral...go crash hips, or sharpen knives, or cast your vote. Just kidding, but if you do be safe.

*muah*

So I started a Christmas List on Myspace, but it was screwing up the html so I'm just redoing and adding on to it here.
( Go To Christmas Wishlist... )

Why is it I never know what I want. I think i do, but I always end up changing my mind. I cant just be happy. I'm not depressed, I'm just content. Content is never enough and I want pure elation. Elation may only be found in fairy tails. Here's the thing. For the last maybe 10 years I have known I wanted to be a marine biologist. I thought that is the end all be all of careers and I haven't strayed from that until now. Now, I have no idea. If I become a marine biologist I feel ike I might just be content, and from watching others who are just content with their jobs, I don't want that. I want to love everyday of my job. I'm so interested in fashion and oddly celebrity whatever. I feel like for the last 10 years I have had school and cheer or just school to think about. Now that I have more time, I have become interested in so many different things. I just want to be able to try things and see if I will like them, but in my house that isn't an option. I need to know what I want and be working toward that. I know this, and it isn't because my parents don't want me to be happy, they just don't have the money to support my indecisiveness. I haven't even told them that I'm thinking of changing my major and maybe even switching colleges. My dad would support me through anything, I mean he drove and hour and a half to help me change a tire, but my mom... She wants me to go into something practical where i can make money and be successful and she won't have to worry. I don't want her to worry, I just want to be creative. After years of having at least 2 science courses each year I'm bored with it and honestly it doesn't really interest me. I just did it because of my love for the ocean and the beauty of fish. I recently decided I wanted to work warped over the summer, and even though I know I have zero experience, I have spent more time researching ways to get to help out with warped, than I spent the entire time I was looking for colleges that had a marine biology program. I haven't even started looking for internships at aquariums or what not. I'm not as driven to do those things as I am to ask what an internship in event planning entails and what I would need to get the internship. I want everything else more than I want what I have always wanted. I don't know if that makes sense. I just know how I feel. I wish I was amazing at one thing. It would make things so much easier. Everyone thinks I'm lucky because I'm good at everything I do, but it sucks. I want to have one skill that will help me stand out amongst the rest. I hate being part of the crowd. Maybe I should just talk about myself for the rest of my life, I seem to be pretty good at that. This us just me venting my thoughts. If anyone happens to read this, I'd love input.

God, how come everytime i hear from you i feel like shit. you randomly write things and tell me how beautiful i am and it makes me smile. i don't hear that very often you know. sometimes i regret flaking out or freaking out, whatever it was. i'm still not sure how serious i was when i said yes. i'm not sure how serious i am now. do i think about you, sometimes but it makes me sad. why can't i find another you. someone thants here and not hundreds of miles away. i'm scared to tell you this so i write it in a journal no one knows about. maybe i'll put a link up somewhere and hope you'll click.

on a lighter note, i just saw some pictures of a doll reinactment of the fall out boy story. they were great. i laughed really hard. he's another guy i'll never have but puts a smile on my face every once in a while.

anyone who reads this, know i love you bunches

So first things first. I'm Chelsea Rae. I'm not really sure where this journal will go. I have a myspace and a buzznet you can friend me at either one of those. I'm really into music and taking/being in pictures. i wish i could model, but i'm only 5'4 and my mom doesn't want me to. i'm 18 now so we'll see how that turns out. if any one knows any bands/ companies that are hiring for warped tour 2007 please leave a comment or send me an email at simmons.ch@neu.edu. thanks bunches.